Oh. God. No. Please. No.
|Caprice Bourret, Caroline Stanbury and Heather Kertzner. Caprice is pregnant and expecting a child through a surrogate.|
|Stanbury's ex: Hugh Grant|
|Caprice's Ex: Robert Tchenguiz (right)|
|Annabelle Neilson, right, one of the 'stars' of the show. Ex wife of Nat Rothschild. Although he can be brusque, when one hears the stunts she pulled during the divorce ... he has our sympathies. Masha Markova, left, is married to Robert Hanson. His brother Brooks lives in Eaton Square.|
|Saffron Aldridge. We doubt she'll be in the show, but wanted to illustrate a chic woman. He baby daddy Simon Astaire has a local connection through his father Edgar.|
|Caprice Bourret and baby daddy American banker Ty Comfort. His ex wife Laura was very popular. Comfort senior was a big-wig at Citibank. The sons are bankers. Styvie and his French wife Helene have moved back to New York. Helene is working hard to establish herself as a hostess with the Old Guard. Compared to Caprice she is a soft and gentle creature and a class act. Compared to. Not sure what's going on with the hem of this dress. We'd normally make allowances for a pregnant woman, but Caprice is normally Klassy as a Kardashian.|
Says she was born 1971. Looks a lot older. Also looks like the victim of a lot of plastic surgery. Designs rather tacky underwear.
Bourret made her name in a 1996 "documentary" Filthy Rich: Daddy's Girls on television with gymslip mum Tamara Beckwith - although she broke rather than rich, as it soon turned out. Sounds rather like most of the other Real Housewives, already. Born poor, she parlayed relentless self-promotion plus a talent for PR into semi-fame and dated a series of rich men such as Robert Tchenguiz (whose sister lived in a garish house in the Square).
Bourret tries to be known simply as "Caprice" in the same way Madonna has only one name. Wishful thinking.
|An old photograph of Patsy Kensit|
Actress Kensit is much better known for her many marriages than her acting. She is constantly making come-backs, and has starred in several less popular British soap operas. Four ex husbands, two children.
|Jodie Kidd last week in St Tropez.|
Kidd is a former model, who recently announced she planned to return to the profession. Kidd was a successful model, as opposed to a girl that claims to be a model, for middle-market companies, as well as a television presenter. A keen sportswoman, she rides, plays polo and races cars. Her career went into free-fall after allegations by a tabloid that she supplied cocaine to their reporter.
Ex husband: Aidan Butler
Boyfriend: polo player Andrea Vianini
Son: Indio, 2.
|Kidd, right, has not aged well. Her elder sister, Jemma, right, the make-up artist is prettier. And Jemma is the Countess of Mornington; her husband is the heir to the Duke of Wellington.|
Noelle Reno, 30
History of dating much older, richer men.
Ex: Matthew Mellon (50).
Once died her hair brown whilst dating Mellon, and looked uncannily like his ex-wife Tamara.
Was ostracised by society after splitting with Mellon.
Currently with still-married Scott Young (51), who was jailed in January for six months for withholding alimony, child support, and failing to disclose marital assets. He seems to live the high life despite claiming to be broke. Reno is not known for sticking by poor men.
Is a designer. We're not sure what of. She has so little style it almost isn't funny.
|Exhibitionist Annabelle Nielson would claim that this McQueen dress is fashion. She is pictured with the late designer and antisemitic scandal designer John Galliano.|
Annabelle Neilson, 40s
Ex husband: Nat Rothschild.
Friend of the late Alexander McQueen. Friend of Kate Moss. Party girl. Very social, but ...
The details of the divorce are never publicly discussed, but those who do know them keep well away from her. She 'hangs' with a fashion rather than a society crowd.
Caroline Stanbury, 37
|Stanbury lives in Kensington|
Exes: Prince Andrew, footballer Ryan Giggs and actor Hugh Grant.
Husband: hedge funder Cem Habib, 40, married since 2004 (he Tweets)
Children: daughter Yasmin, twin boys Aaron and Zack
Second home in Surrey
Collects contemporary art
Her business: www.gift-library.com
No, it's not Eaton Square, but her Tamzin Greenhill-designed house is not the trashy sort one associates with The Real Housewives. Since we love a little propery porn, here are a few more shots, after the break:
|Stanbury may now be a purveyor of chic, but in her dating days she liked to flash the flesh.|
Many more features about her house can be found in her company's press coverage.